The first definition of a mother I found is this:
a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth.
I always thought that was the definition for a mother. But I’ve been forced to look at motherhood differently.
There are SO many ways to become a mom. Giving birth is not the only way. I don’t need children in my home to be a mother. I can nurture, love, care for, encourage, and protect whoever I want. Isn’t that what a mother does? There are so many people in my life I do those things for. Taking care of others fills my heart with so much joy.
When I was diagnosed with infertility, I never thought that infertility could bring me great joy. But it has! Infertility has pushed me to try things I never thought I could. It has introduced me to people I may have never met. It’s made me more compassionate towards people. Helping people is something that makes me so happy. Infertility has given me an opportunity to be there for other people who are experiencing and feeling the same things I am. I can’t put into words how special that is to me. The connections that have been made because of my infertility are huge. I never would have thought that I would be here.
Infertility has given me purpose with my support group. My support group not only keeps me physically busy with prepping and leading but it also focuses my heart and mind on a much bigger picture than myself.
When it comes to infertility, I think all the infertiles can agree that it’s hard to find support. If you are very open about your story, you open yourself up to more possibilities of support but you also become more vulnerable. If you are not open about your story, it’s hard for people to support you because they don’t know what’s going on but there’s still a feeling of vulnerability and isolation. People that love me very much have a hard time supporting me because they don’t understand what I’m going through. I have to remember that not everyone cares about my story as much as I do. Not everyone can care about me as much as I need them to. That’s why it’s important to find support from people who have support to offer. When I’m with other infertile women, we can laugh about things that may make someone with children very uncomfortable because they didn’t experience infertility. There is an understanding between these women like no other. The tears you see others shed aren’t just seen by the other women but they are felt. The tears have a story to tell that we all understand.
Most days aren’t easy. But there are days when I can see the sun shining and I appreciate the sun more than ever now. I’m also able to appreciate the clouds. The dark times help us appreciate the light. The modern-day Shakespeare of our time, Andy Grammer, said in his hit song “Keep Your Head Up”:
“Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again”
So true. The best rainbows come after the rain. It doesn’t make the storm more bearable but it makes us appreciate the rainbow afterwards. I look forward to the rainbows.
We all will be okay. The duo Oh Honey said so: https://youtu.be/15pMHi9h8rI
Go ahead and check out the modern-day Shakespeare too: https://youtu.be/CmrOB_q3tjo