Empty Arms No More?

I can’t believe I’m about to type these words.

We are going to move forward with IVF.

A year ago or even 3 days ago, the answer was no.

The consultation went great. We loved the doctor and his staff. The doctor seems very confident about our case and his success rate is about 75%. One of the biggest selling points for us is that he is a Christian. He will not implant more than 2 embryos. Therefore, there is no selective reduction. Many doctors will implant 5 or 6 embryos and then terminate the 4 weakest embryos. He doesn’t believe in doing this and that meant a lot to us. The staff was warm and welcoming and seemed like they really cared about us. It feels like a really good fit.

The total process will take about 8 weeks. I start medication today to help with insulin resistance and some vitamins. Once I start my period, I go for blood work and an ultra sound. Joe has to do another semen analysis as well. The doctor thinks at this point we may have more of a sperm problem so they want to investigate further. Then I will be given birth control to shut down my ovaries. That will be in preparation to inject myself with lots of drugs to make my ovaries produce lots of eggs. That will also involve daily blood work for around 10 days. Once the eggs are ready, I’ll be put under mild anesthesia so they can harvest the eggs. The eggs are then mixed with Joe’s sperm. Then after 3-5 days we go back in to have them implanted. There is a high chance we could have twins. That is a bit scary as well.

This process is overwhelming. I’m scared. There’s a lot to it and emotionally I’m already exhausted. I’m scared of either outcome: pregnancy or not. Becoming a parent is scary. Not becoming a parent after going through all of this would be devastating. Part of me hopes I don’t get pregnant because then nothing changes. Part of me wants to become pregnant so everyone’s hard work produces something amazing. My parents have offered to pay for IVF and I don’t want to feel like their money is wasted. There is a lot happening.

Over the next several weeks, I’d ask you to keep in contact with us. Call, text, and send cards. Let us know you are thinking about us. Let us know how you’re praying for us. Let us know you care about us. Ask questions. Ask us how we are doing. Ask how we are feeling. Ask what step we’re at. Check in with us. I want to feel an overwhelming amount of love and support. People are so important to us. We need you. We need your support now more than ever.

 

Scary

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10 thoughts on “Empty Arms No More?

  1. Dearest Lindsay, we have friends, who, about 15 years ago, were where you and Joe are. Today, their twins, a boy and a girl, are thriving in high school. I remember their fears, their prayers, and ultimately, holding their two miracles in our arms. Blessings and prayers as you continue with life, and the decisions that potentially change it.

    Like

  2. So excited Nan and I are praying for you two
    As far as parenting goes it’s a very scary thing You learn as you go and just remember God will never give you more than you can handle
    I think you two will make great parents

    God bless

    Like

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