This Is Why It Isn’t Talked About

Recently, it was brought up that someone at work complained that me talking about my infertility made them uncomfortable. Management had to address it with me. They were kind in their delivery. But I don’t believe it should have ever been brought up to me.

My infertility by NO means dominates daily conversation. Yes, it’s a HUGE part of my life and if it did dominate conversation, I’m not ashamed of that. But it doesn’t. So the fact that I was approached or that someone was even upset about it really frustrates me.

This isn’t something that I made happen to myself. It’s a part of my life that I have no control over. In cases like this, I think it would be awesome if the person that is upset could come to me and help me understand. Then I could do my best to be sensitive. But it makes me wonder if it was just said to be said or if there is legitimate reason the person brought it up.

I wonder if someone at my work was going through chemo or doing insulin shots for their diabetes and someone complained that it made them uncomfortable, would they be confronted by management? I tend to think they wouldn’t.

INFERTILITY IS AN ILLNESS. It’s a disability. I’m sick of feeling like I’m being treated differently because I can’t get pregnant!

This is exactly why people keep their infertility hidden. Society makes us feel less than, broken, and ashamed that our bodies can’t do what they were made for. Society tells us we don’t know love like mothers. We can’t understand the bond between mother and child. We just can’t relate and society makes sure we don’t forget.

Then there are individuals who go out of their way to make sure we don’t forget. Infertility should be treated like any other illness. There are so many physical and emotional aspects to it and we don’t need people making it worse for us. Instead of treating us with kindness and compassion like all people deserve, we are met with hurtful words and a lack of understanding.

In this case, jealously seemed to play a role as well. Apparently this person was hurt by the amount of support I have. I think that speaks more to their character than mine. I’m surrounded by love and support and I am so proud of that. If they don’t have that, there’s probably a good reason for it and they need to work on that. Not complain about others having what they want.

I think we should be more ashamed of how we choose to treat people. Or that we choose to hate a group of people. Or the things we choose to do behind closed doors. Not because of something we didn’t choose. I’m not ashamed of my infertility and I’m sick of people thinking they can make me feel that way.