Our Bag To Burden

“Congratulations!” My eyes filled with tears.

We met with our doctor yesterday. He doesn’t have an answer as to why our last round failed. He treated the last round differently because of my PCOS, so in his eyes, this last round should have worked. The next step is genetic testing. Joe and I both went for a blood draw yesterday. We will receive the results in 2-3 weeks. I’m sick of waiting for stuff. It sucks.

Our doctor wants to see if either one of us has a genetic issue that would affect our chromosomes. This type of issue only impacts 1% of his patients, thus why he doesn’t test for it right away. It’s very rare. We are now in the 10%-15% range of his patient population due to the fact that we have had 2 failed rounds of IVF.

If there is a genetic issue, we will discuss next steps, if they are any.

If there are no genetic issues, we have 6 embryos left that are not the greatest quality but viable for transfer.

Either outcome has its issues. If there is a genetic issue, I don’t see many other paths we can take. It would be nice to have an answer as to why this isn’t working and may provide some closure. If there is no genetic issue, can we do another transfer? This will be a hard choice to make, to move forward with a large possibility of failing again.

Infertility is kind of our thing. I’m not happy about it. But it’s ours. We’ve not only made our marriage work but we’ve made it strong, stronger than it’s ever been.

While we were there discussing these difficult choices and scary things ahead, we hear a nurse congratulate someone. My eyes filled with tears. It isn’t us and it may never be.

Running far away from all your serious concerns
I know you’ve learned to you use your fairy tales
To get you through the hurt

We have our lives to bear
Our bags to burden

Candy – Gavin Degraw


2 thoughts on “Our Bag To Burden

  1. I remember struggling with my lining before a transfer, thinking it will never be good enough for implantation (it was one of my many problems) and while waiting to talk to the RE doc about what to do, i could hear a couple getting an ultrasound and confirming their pregnancy. It was devastating. Stay strong, stay positive and stay open to ideas!


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