IVF or Bust

For the past several years, we’ve had countless people ask us if we have ever considered invitro fertilization or IVF. We’ve always said “Not right now. We aren’t there yet.” I always thought we’d never be there. But after 6 rounds of Clomid with timed intercourse and 3 rounds of Femera with two IUIs, we are here.

We are at a point where we either decide to let this dream go or try this one last thing.

My main concerns are:

  1. Shots-I will have to give myself or be given many, many shots with lots of medication.
  2. Failure-I cannot imagine the pain and disappointed if it doesn’t work.
  3. Money-This process could cost $8,000-$12,000. That’s a lot of money if it does work and I imagine it will seem like even more if it doesn’t work.

I scheduled our appointment today. Facebook reminded me that one year ago today I came out of the infertility closet. That makes today feel very significant to me. I have been really down on myself about feeling like I haven’t done enough. This past year has been a very painful one but also a really amazing one.

In ONE year:

  1. I’ve started a blog and written 25 blogs!
  2. I’ve started a support group!
  3. I’ve done new treatments!

I am proud. Our story and our pain is being used to help others through theirs while helping us as well.  I am grateful and we are beyond blessed.

We have an appointment in August for a consultation to see if this is something we are good candidates for. IVF does appear to be our last option in hopes of conceiving a baby together. If that doesn’t work or we decide not to do it, we either live childfree or adopt.

I. AM. TERRIFIED.

I will go to this appointment with an open mind. But right now, it doesn’t feel like something I can do. Please pray for guidance and peace during these next few months.  We want to make wise decisions about what is best for our family and wise financial decisions.  Thank you to all of you that continue to support us.

8 thoughts on “IVF or Bust”

  1. Making an appointment about IVF is a big step. Even after discussing it with our doctor, I wasn’t ready to move forward until I’d spent about 7 months in therapy contemplating it. I think it’s always good to have a “next step” plan and know that you can always change your minds if you want. This is your journey and the decisions you make about how to, or how not to, build your family are yours to make and should be respected. Obviously there may be some barriers to what you can or can’t do due to finances, etc. but for everything within your control, just remember you call the shots. Speaking of shots, the thing that scared me the most about IVF was the progesterone in oil injections. Turns out, they’re not that bad. You’ve got this :). Wishing you peace and luck as you take this next step in your journey.

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  2. Hi friend,
    I am so sorry that it is so hard. I know. Been there. It feels like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place with no good solution. Just take one step at a time. Do the next thing, the next day in front of you…don’t look too far ahead because you are not there yet, you are not the person that you will be then with the experience and transformed character. You are who you are TODAY, with today’s tasks in front of you. Five years ago if you told me where I would be now, what I would have gone through, I would have first laughed at the impossibility of it all, then given up before I even started. God will make the next steps clear to you as you and Joe listen to his voice. Was embryo adoption and the two transfers difficult? Yes. Was losing three babies heartbreaking? Yes. Do I wish I hadn’t done it? No. Because it led me here, and it made me who I am today. It gave me an understanding for those in the same boat, and it expanded my heart even more. Lots of love and prayers for you both.

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  3. The thought I want most to share with you is that we humans dream so small. What we think is perfect and grand and EXACTLY what will make us happy/ whole/ fulfilled, is tiny compared to what God wants to give us. I know your hearts are set on a specific dream that arrives in a specific way. I am praying that God brings your heart’s desire to you, or works a miracle to change your desire. Either way, you WILL have peace with your grief one day. God worked out the finances for our treatment, and then again for adoption in miraculous ways. Whatever you choose,move forward with confidence that it’s the right thing for both of you. Decide ahead of time that you WILL NOT entertain regrets. You personally know so many of us who have walked the path you are on and we are STILL STANDING! !You will be,too. Love you both, so much. (And as far as the shots go, piece of cake. I did all mine by myself bcz of Gene’s work schedule. And the discomfort is nothing compared to your desire to concieve!!)💛💙💜💚❤

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    1. So true. I remind myself often that God’s plans are always better than my own! We want to hear His plan and have the courage to follow. Thank you for your love and advice. We love you bunches too!!

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  4. Sweetie, I am so sorry you are going through this. Having been there myself, I understand the heartache, sadness, and frustration. The fear is big…fear of unknown, fear of failing, fear of succeeding even. It’s a scary, awful journey that we go through. I did 6 failed iui’s with 9 rounds of clomid and provera, and a miscarriage before we finally decided to go for the invitro. Mine was successful and I have an amazing little 5 year old boy to show for it. Then something even more amazing happened…the pregnancy hormones somehow cleared out my endometriosis and pcos and we had a surprise conception of our daughter when Tucker was only 10 months old! I pray that you guys have the luck we did, or that God’s plan is revealed to you. Good luck to you and many prayers!! Also lots of baby dust! Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story, I know I felt very alone in my journey and I know you are helping people!

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